2011 Barry Robaix

26March 2011:  It was frozen.  When we got to Gun Lake at 9 Am, it was probably 18 degrees.  Do we go in shorts?  Or do we wear bulky but warmer clothes?  We decided to wear as little as possible.  "Vikings don't need heaters, we will not think about being warm, we will think about beating our enemy," said Ewing. Tony didn't even cover his legs, and some girls rode him about it at the starting line.  Mark wore fingerless gloves instead of regular gloves and it cost him dearly at the beginning of the race.  "Me fingers were f**ng frozen", I had doubts about being able to ride with frozen digits," said Ewing.   "Amazingly, 10 minutes in, my fingers were not frozen and I felt good."  

 The pavement turned to the bloody stretch of two-tracks with rocks and logs all over, which we call 'Omaha Beach'.  Racers began dropping out.  "We always lose so many men here", ejacualted Tony Signore.  "At one point we saw a group of 5 pulled off to the side."    Tony and Mark both made it through without stopping.  Mark was able to bolt forward, especially going through the downhill parts of the terrain.  Going uphill, always hard for Ewing, was tough. "Every person I passed going downhill, they would always catch back up to me going uphill."  Signore was able to keep up with Ewing.  Ewing had to stop 3 times when his bicycle seat came lose.  "Seth will hear about this", said Ewing.  At one point near a wide turn, McKibben Road (?), Ewing and Signore met up one last time.  "Tony's face looked bad, he looked exhausted, I could tell he was really working it", said Ewing.

Star Wars Idiots

The course was rough, seemingly so much more uphills than down....and it was so cold.  I don't think it ever got close to even 30 degrees.  Hitting the windy area of Pine Lake, doing the long uphill gravel road on Head Road, we both realized how much everything in life SUCKED.   Onto Goodwill Road, there is one Aid Station.  Ewing skipped it.  "I didn't want anything to drink, it would screw up my breathing."  Signore stopped only for a small cup of water.  You know why he did that?  Our water bottles were FROZEN blocks of ice.   Useless blocks of ice.

Yeah

Last third of the trail, and back on pavement, the ride is better, but there is so much uphill roads, it doesn't even seem possible.  The squads of biking teams blow past us, they are idiots.  "They are talking about junk like ,"hey Sharon what's for dinner tonght?"....ejaculated Signore.  The last portion of the race, the exitement is over and one is content just to bear down and peddle and peddle, just to get it done.  We got it done.  It took over 2 hours.  2 hours of frozen hell.  What price glory?  The awards ceremony:  We go to get some beer, the kegs are out of order.  Probably frozen.  So we go back to the truck, put on some warmer clothes.  Tony puts his hands on the dash.  They are not hands anymore.  They are white, pulpy claws that have no blood inside.  "Those were some scary looking hands let me tell ya," clucked Ewing.  It took some time but the good news is that they did finally get a pink hue to them and I think they are back to normal.  We then proceeded to suck down some St Pauli Girls and listened to some Rolling Stones from the "BlacknBlue" CD.  "Next time I mention this race", said Tony, "Remind me what I said about it."