Emporer Ewing Predicts His Sweet 16, Invites Other SW Idiots To Do The Same:

East: 1-The Rolling Stones, 4-Jeff Healey, 3-Belle & Sebastian, 2-Waylan Jennings

West: 1-Ian Hunter, 4- Drive By Truckers, 3-Radiohead, 10-Train                          

Southwest: 1- Gregg Allman, 12-Paul Simon, 6-AC/DC, 2-KOL                           

              Southeast:  1- Keith Richards, 4-The Beatles, 6-Mother Truckers, 2-John Hiatt   

                

His voice was measured, his language formal, his demeanor somber. It was perhaps the clearest sign yet of just how grave the Star Wars hype had become: The emperor spoke:
:

  Hey guys.  Yes, This is the Sweet 16 according to Mark Ewing.  "Let me tell ya, George Jones is in trouble, they will struggle Vs Devo, they will get eliminated by The AC/DC.  I think Ween may be overconfident and lose to the MotherTruckers.  Oh and Paul Simon WILL take out Steve Earle...turn on the TV ifn you don't believe me. Nick Lowe better hit his free throws, lest he be watching The Train take his place in the higher rounds.  I'm just sayin'.  Sweet Lincoln's Mullett! Paul Simon, get ready to accept your Stormtrooper Award because it is coming over to you." 

Mark Ewing was stopped from exploding this funky rocket at the StarWars Kick-off Celebration.