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Monday, March 21, 2011

SPECTER OF PERMANENT BAN HANGS OVER RADIOACTIVE CHICKEN HEADS

Death Star (Court 4) -- As the large crowd of KOL (Kings of Leon) supporters watched nervously, much like a Libyan military garrison listening for incoming cruise missiles, Frank Lalonde's much-maligned Radioactive Chicken Heads may have pulled off one of the biggest upsets in SWI tournament history.  Using a unique blend of offense AND defense, the RCH were able to pull it (pullet?) off, holding KOL to a miserly 57 points, leading to a 71-57 victory, and an utterly unplanned 3rd game as part of the 'Sweet Sixteen'.

Using a 'back to basics' approach, Lalonde's squad seemed to lull the Signore crew into a false sense of security.

"I knew we 'had it in the bag', when I heard Signore being asked by one of his lieutenants whether they should prepare an escape pod.  Signore plainly replied:  "Mmmphh, gribble, skrm, uh... evacuate?  In our ...**mumbled phrase, sounding like "bhut chicken head wings"** ... in our moment of triumph?  I think, mmpgra... urp... more wings...more fries, I think you overestimate their chances."

Signore's propaganda campaign appeared to have backfired in the face of the embarrassing loss by the Kings of Leon to the Radioactive Chicken Heads.

Coach Lalonde: Used RadioActive Defense to lead 10-Chicken Heads Over 2-The Kings of Leon
Signore could not be found in his usual bathroom stall for comment, though several strange noises could be heard from an adjacent stall, as well as an unconfirmed report of a hand seemingly feeling along the bottom of one of the walls, with a plaintive cry for toilet paper.



Emperor Ewing, who has publicly scoffed at the RCH, and made no effort to hide the fact that he would take action to ban them from further appearances in SWI, could be seen scurrying to a nearby KFC along with a crowd of stormtroopers.  A witness claimed that Ewing could be heard demanding to know what the ingredients of their 'seven herbs and spices' were.

"We're in it to win it!"
Coach Lalonde, while enthusiastic about the victory, was quick to quell any talk about the "Final Four".  "Hey, we've still got to get past a strong Marty Robbins(Ed note: Nora Jones <see play-in game info>) team.  I don't care how many times you've worked on the 'Cherry Blossom' routine, we're going to run it and run it until it's as natural of sticking q-tips up your nostrils."

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