It was a Friday night. It was in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Winter of 89. In a few short weeks, it would become the 1990's. It was a wintery, icy, slippery night. Mark and Tony were at the Breton house, looking for some trouble. Trouble they found. Getting into Tony's LeCar, the boys drove around with no particular place to go. Others would have stayed inside because of the slippery weather. Not Tony. Tony stuck in a Tommy Petty tape into the tape player. It was Petty's latest, "Full Moon Fever". Somehow "Running Down A Dream" stood out like no other song. It was played over and over repeately. Beer was bought. Beer was drunk as they drove down 28th St. You know, that is illegal in some states. Tom Petty had crafted a great song that fit our hedonistic spirit. That whole album was good. Petty had risen above and put out a great legacy, yet he never seemed to get rewarded for it. Tony hit the brakes on purpose and the car would swerve uncontrollably. Mark was playing an air guitar and bobbing his head wildly. Tony was drumming on the steering wheel like a chimpanzee. The music was loud, yet Tony had to have it louder. Stopping at a fast food place, they ordered burgers, fries, but no pop. They couldn't stop laughing. They washed the food down with gallons of beer. "Running Down A Dream" never got old, not did the sliding around in the car. They somehow didn't get killed. On that day, Tom Petty became immortal. Today he gets his award.
Tom Petty, a low13-seed, drew a tough match in his first game. Petty found himself in Guadalcanal. Ewing was favored with the big gun 1-Rolling Stones. The Stones had many good bands protecting the ridge. Petty was paired with a force: 4-John Prine. Ewing had Prine on a fast-track. he was heavily armed. Petty and his band of Heartbreakers, with little rations, and a few 30 aughts sixes, beat the Prine. With no sleep, and malaria rampant, they moved up and took on REO. REO had beaten 5-Jenny & Johnny. In an exciting battle, Petty put REO out of commission. Salute him. "I have to say, I respect Sir Tommy Petty. He put a big hole in my Guadalcanal Campaign", said Ewing.
Sir Tom Petty is the lowest-seeded (13) band to win a Stormtrooper.
What does this mean to Tom Petty? You know, this Award means more than winning the Vader to some people. A Stormtrooper has beaten great odds to get into the Sweet 16. He has no home. He is a wild animal. The jungle is his home. Who remembers Train winning the Vader? I will always remember Sir Ray Wiley Hubbard picking up a Stormy. Hubbard. And now Sir Tommy Petty, who gets:
1-A free invite back to next year's Star Wars.
2-He can not be Big Balled, Downed Syndromed, or They Goned. Forever and Ever.
3-As a glorious Star Wars Stormtooper, he get the ultimate respect: He is now Knighted. Call him Sir. As in Sir Thomas Petty. (Not sure why, but any current real-life Sir, such as Paul McCartney, IF he wins a Stormtrooper Award, he loses his "Sir" Title. Wade was real clear on that over at records and licensing.)
4-Tom Petty can punch any rock performer in the face with no consequence. If he ever attends a U2 concert, he can throw Mr Edge off the stage and say, "Hey I'm the Edge", and play a really bad riff on a guitar. With no consequence.
5-As homage, Tom Petty can drive a LeCar on any slippery rode. He can drink heavily. He can crank music real loud. And if cops come, he flashes his Stormtrooper Card, and there will be NO TROUBLE.
You think Devo and those Blind Boys O Alabammy wish they could not be Big Balled or Theygoned? Well, they should win a Stormy....
...............................................................................................................................................
Storm Trooper Award (To lowest-ranking teams to make Sweet 16)
2012- 13-Sir Tom Petty
2011- Tie, 11-Sir George Harrison, 11- Dame Nora Jones
2010- 12-Sir Pink Floyd
2009- 12-Sir Roy Wiley Hubbard
2008- Tie, 12-Sir Alejandro Escovedo, 12-Sir John Lennon
....................................................................................................................................
Kirby Kile Award (Highest finishing 'Dead' performer)
The following winter another accident cost Kirby Kyle an arm -- fortunately not his pitching arm. He had one leg and one arm, but more than that, he had heart.
2012- Whitney Houston (Diane S. Entry)- Bravery and Valor: Stonewall Div: Took out 11-Fiest, took out 3-AC/DC, made it to Sweet 16, while dead.
2011- Jeff Healey (lost to Radiohead in Final Four, but beat: WHancock, Decemberists, 1-RollingStones.
No comments:
Post a Comment