Signore Vows To Go "The Distance" Against 'Napkin Dragon'

Bay City (MI)--Tony "Hefty" Signore, after dropping a hard-fought battle with his precious 'golden nectar,' had agreed to take on another in the Hooters stable.  This next opponent, one of several 'napkin dragons' which the official Star Wars Idiots commission swore they saw in every bar in Bay City, may not be the push-over Signore thinks it is.

"I've always said:  'Nothing beats Rock', and since Rock beats paper, that alone should ... oomph...uh...urp...excuse me a ...ump...urp...seco....***brrrrrrraaaaapppppppppp***...that alone should give me the edge.  It'll be like buddah...I say "Give Me The Buddah!"  That was Signore's response to charges that he had misappropriated a bus constructed of ceramic material and drove it all over his hotel room.

The 'napkin dragon' had no comment to accusations that it was merely a figment of the Star Wars Idiot's imaginations.  However, Emperor Ewing did manage to blurt out at a 'private party' that:  "It's paper...it's a dragon...it's clearly an opponent which Signore has never faced before.  What can I say?  Do you want me to apologize?  What should I do?

As for what Ewing has planned for the match-up, one can only speculate.  A photograph of a scrap of paper which Ewing had been scribbling various numbers on failed to shed light on the subject, as the information 'mysteriously' vanished.  Frank "Which Way Did He Go?  Which Way Did He Go?" Lalonde proposed that they were simply trying to solve a common packaging problem using advanced math, as well as addition AND multiplication.  "It's nothing, really...we were just trying to...WHAT'S THAT?  ...oh...it's just a wad of paper...anyways... we were attempted to figure out the maximum capacity of a beer pallet.  No...come back...seriously...that's what we were doing...WAIT!!!!  Don't leave me alone with...ARGGGGG, there's ANOTHER ONE........."