Archaic Signore Pep Rally: "Grab Your Musket Balls"

In a dimly-lit room, on the southeast side of town, Signore assembled one of the greatest fighting forces since General Burnside gathered his troops at Fredericksburg. But unlike Burnside, Signore is not afraid to move. He will not wait for the pontoon bridges to arrive from a bureaucratically disorganized state that has no concept of war. No, Signore will advance. Find the shallows, listen to his field generals and move the enemy from the high ground.

Thirty four divisions will advance and though all will fall except one, he will find that one. That one group that has come to fight. That is why he has brought them to this meeting, Find the one. Find the one that will advance on Stonewall Jackson. Walk head long into canister fire and raise the flag of truth and music. Find the one that will look Bobby Lee in the eye and spit in his face. Find the one.

Signore has many choices. His troops are ready to give their last full measure of devotion to carry the banner that few will know. Norah Jones knows. Neko Case knows. They once stood where others stand today. They once marched up those frozen fields of glory to reach the heights of victory. War is hell? No, war is music. Sweet music that few can hear. Listen to the faint sound that sings, "Triumph. Victory."

The meeting ends and Signore has his list. Neat little bundles of seventeen. Two columns if you will, ready to do his will. 'Right' is on his side, along with his brother 'might.' March on you thirty-four . Do not tarry yet the cannons of Longstreet and Pelham will shatter your bones and scatter your troops. March on.