(San Antonio, TX)- As Signore surrounded the Alamo with perhaps thousands of troops, he had to be disappointed after his first seige that ended in him accomplishing nothing. 7-Shirley Bassey took out 10-Nora Jones. Nora Jones has, perhaps the most wins in Star Wars history, but today she was slaughtered. Brandi Carlile put up a crudely made ladder to scale the east wall, but Rilo Kiley was there to put a quick end to the lesbian. Most satisfying was 5-Devo, a surprise high entry, from the effects of the George Harrison Wounded Warrior rule, putting down FUN along with its puppet, Abe. Abe was seen in the early morning hours waking up his sleeping troops. "Hey let's get up, The Fun...let's go. Lets go. Time to get up.". Abe gathered some snares and a long stick with a sharpened edge. He boldy led Fun to the front gate of the Alamo. Abe knocked on the door, Devo opened the door, and blew them half-way to Johannesberg.
GUADALCANAL DIARY
(Guadalcanal)- Things not going quite as well as planned over at Guadalcanal. The Rolling Stones, a brutal and callous lot, took out the Black Crowes and warned, "Any more stupid ass bands like this rolling around here, and we will kill them and burn their stupid bodies." And how about the upstart 6-Timmy Thomas? He took out Kate Edmundson, never taking his hands off his organ, all the while mumbling words to his only hit song.
Not sure what the hell happened over by the swamps on the east ridge. The Blind Boys, took out 8-Fleetwood Mac. "We were counting on Fleetwood Mac to be victors, and they ended up losing to a bunch of blind idiots. We will now deploy the Rolling Stones over there to take them out, but this is a move we did not plan on", said Mark Ewing. "And I just got word that the stupid 14-Mavericks took out 3-B.A.D. "NOOOO!!!!", cried out a dejected Ewing. I had huge plans for Big Audio Dynamite. I had them on the Big Board. Now I have to move Timmy Thomas over that way, but that is OK, I still have 2-TRex going to win that seige. I know my guys will win Guadalcanal. Count on it."
EWING'S DEPLOYED TROOPS: Zeppelin, The Cars going for Stormtrooper Award?
In Stalingrad, Ewing has taken on some admitted hits. The good news is, 12-Led Zeppelin, causing worry. Zeppelin took out 5-Wilco! "A big win for us, said Ewing, as he gulped down a large bowl of pilfered Borsch over the kitchen sink. "Please Comrade, no more questions, I have to make new plans."
Led Zeppelin Live in Stalingrad!!
"No Quarter", cried Led Zeppelin, remembering how Tony always said he really liked his beloved Wilco. Led Zeppelin is charging through Stalingrad! They don't belong and they don't care. They proudly show their loyalty to the Ewing cause, and look to fighting to the death. Zeppelin to take on 4-Bruce Springsteen this weekend. Should be a game worth watching.
Zeppelin garnered loot and secret codes vital to the Signore campaign. Ewing has some crack troops trying to decipher a scribbled note, they think is attributed to Signore. "Have you ever sheen the Raiders of Lost Ark?", "Oh let me tell ya, ya gotta see it. This guy, Indiana, always finds the treasure first, but there's always this other guy that wins the treasure. He travels around all over and finds treasure. No he's not a pirate, he's Indiana. Go see it. It's really good. He has a whip and I think a monkey. Ewing said, "We thinks it's code, we are on to something big. No one could possibly give a drunken movie review like that...or could they?"
Ardennes Mntns, The Bulge: Very tough war going on. And we have taken casulites. Emily VanDusen put up a fight, but ended up having Grace Potter go down to 3-Radiohead. That had to have scared Signore. Frank Lalonde-he gone. He chose Joan Jett as his muse. But he gave her no support. Joan Jett lost to Hayes Carl, and Frank was no where to be found. He is MIA, but we think he's gone. Gone. What do I mean gone? He's gone. Gone. And there's nothing we can do about it.
12-Cars take down 5-The Kinks! Yes, The Cars seem to have their headlights aimed at winning a Storm Trooper Award. This is big. The Kinks were good but The Cars were better. Cars looking to take out Hayes Carl later on. Kinda like the way they dip.
As deadline came, 10-Warren Zevon was advancing on 7-The Time Jumpers. The Time Jumpers appear to be caught with their pants around their ankles. Zevon promised he "will rape them and kill them, but he will take them home....."
Keeping on fighting, Bro......
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