Lalonde Distributes Blue Gloves, Shows Up to Make His Final Four Predictions!!
Lalonde tries to lift 2013 sanctions by 'telling it like it is'....
Tippecanoe
"My Sweet Lord"...who'd of thunk it, that The Pixies would be setting their sights on a trip to the Death Star. As Black Francis was heard to say: "If Kurt 'Bagboy' Cobain were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave." On being informed that Mr. Cobain was, indeed dead, Francis boldly continued by pointing over the crowd of (seven) reporters and yelling "SQUIRREL!" As all faces turned, Francis scampered away from the podium as a nearby usher approached and informed everyone that "The Pixies are Dust!"...
Based on such incidents, one has to consider The Pixies a minor stumbling block for the George Harrison. Being the last remaining hope for The Beatles (both solo and as a team), Harrison has shown great moral fortitude. "Yeah, Harrison's got what we refer to in the industry as "Colon Control," Emperor Mark Ewing told a gathering of (The) Eagles. "With Tom gone, we've decided to open up Harry. Yes...tonight, we DIG," Ewing told a completely baffled contingent of Orientals from the "Ching Chang Ding Dong School of Haiku" who were searching for the studio where "The Colbert Report" originates from.
Prediction: The George Harrison over The Pixies, 87-68. ================
Stonewall
A true "Battle of the Bands" is shaping up in the power-packed Stonewall Region. Wilco prepares to take on the mighty Roxy Music. Both squads can pour on the shots - "...and they can score points as well," GM Tony "Bwana-Devil" Signore added. On being asked what the key to victory for Wilco is, Signore astutely told the two people in attendence: "Well, it's give and take, but more about the take. When you take more than you give, but give some a bit more - that's when you've got them right where they think they are." Asked to sum up his convoluted strategy, and simply say what Wilco needs to do, Signore stared blankly at an empty pizza pan and said: "Score more points than Roxy Music."
Prediction: Wilco 81 - Roxy Music 76 ================
Hickory
The region with the least amount of madness thus far, Hickory seems to be following the script as written. Unfortunately, the script seems to be from "Ishtar." The premier regional semi-final is one to truly break Signore's heart: The Lou Reed facing powerhouse REO Speedwagon. "Boy, I'm glad I don't have to bet on that match-up...that's why my bookie takes care of such things," Signore told an attentive group of pre-schoolers. "I made boom-boom," said one of the children, to which Signore responded "So did I...so did I..."
Prediction (Semi-Final): REO Speedwagon 86, Lou Reed 72
In the other Semi-final, Lucinda takes on a very feisty Old Crow. "Like a fine wine, The Old Crow just knocks you on your back," Ewing told the farm-hands who were busily consuming their meals, and who had wandered into the arena under the impression that it was the factory for fine sausages. Meanwhile, Signore went on record to say "Smoked Hickory...Old Crow...Lucinda...such are the things that dreams are made of...It's led...uh...lead...oh, damn, where's the script..."
Predicion (Semi-Final): Lucinda 72, Old Crow 68
Prediction (Final): REO Speedwagon 81, Lucinda 74 ================
Ukraine
If you're looking for a battlefield, just cry me a river. You've got Deke Dickerson fighting The Cramps...and also playing "The Cramps." In the other semi-final, the Devo will take on a upstart Shelby Lynn. While Signore remained relatively quiet about incursions made into the Ukraine, Ewing keeps maintaining that "We need breathing room." In the first semi-final, it shouldn't be a surprise to see the Deke Dickerson dropping from the SWI. "It's hard, when you've got The Cramps," Ewing told a family sitting on a porch outside their Oklahoma tool shed. "Wherever there's a pang...The Cramps'll be there. Wherever a team runs too hard, The Cramps'll be there. A cure for The Cramps? Time...time, and several small unmarked bills," Ewing told the Okie-Tribune.
Prediction (Semi-Final): The Cramps 68, Deke Dickerson 59
In the other Semi-final, The Devo will be looking to honor falled comrade Bob2, and demolish Shelby Lynn (designated upstart). The Devo looks like a team on a mission. A mission of what, that's still to be determined.
Prediction (Semi-Final): The Devo 70, Shelby Lynn 65
Prediction (Final): The Cramps 70, The Devo 67 ================
Final Four Prediction: George Harrison Wilco REO Speedwagon The Cramps
Recap:
Frank: 1-George Harrison, 1-Wilco, 4-REO, 4-The Cramps
Mark: 1-George Harrison, 1-Wilco, 1-Lou Reed, 4-The Cramps
Tony: 11-The Pixies, 4-Norah Jones, 4-REO, 4-The Cramps
Tippecanoe
"My Sweet Lord"...who'd of thunk it, that The Pixies would be setting their sights on a trip to the Death Star. As Black Francis was heard to say: "If Kurt 'Bagboy' Cobain were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave." On being informed that Mr. Cobain was, indeed dead, Francis boldly continued by pointing over the crowd of (seven) reporters and yelling "SQUIRREL!" As all faces turned, Francis scampered away from the podium as a nearby usher approached and informed everyone that "The Pixies are Dust!"...
Based on such incidents, one has to consider The Pixies a minor stumbling block for the George Harrison. Being the last remaining hope for The Beatles (both solo and as a team), Harrison has shown great moral fortitude. "Yeah, Harrison's got what we refer to in the industry as "Colon Control," Emperor Mark Ewing told a gathering of (The) Eagles. "With Tom gone, we've decided to open up Harry. Yes...tonight, we DIG," Ewing told a completely baffled contingent of Orientals from the "Ching Chang Ding Dong School of Haiku" who were searching for the studio where "The Colbert Report" originates from.
Prediction: The George Harrison over The Pixies, 87-68. ================
Stonewall
A true "Battle of the Bands" is shaping up in the power-packed Stonewall Region. Wilco prepares to take on the mighty Roxy Music. Both squads can pour on the shots - "...and they can score points as well," GM Tony "Bwana-Devil" Signore added. On being asked what the key to victory for Wilco is, Signore astutely told the two people in attendence: "Well, it's give and take, but more about the take. When you take more than you give, but give some a bit more - that's when you've got them right where they think they are." Asked to sum up his convoluted strategy, and simply say what Wilco needs to do, Signore stared blankly at an empty pizza pan and said: "Score more points than Roxy Music."
Prediction: Wilco 81 - Roxy Music 76 ================
Hickory
The region with the least amount of madness thus far, Hickory seems to be following the script as written. Unfortunately, the script seems to be from "Ishtar." The premier regional semi-final is one to truly break Signore's heart: The Lou Reed facing powerhouse REO Speedwagon. "Boy, I'm glad I don't have to bet on that match-up...that's why my bookie takes care of such things," Signore told an attentive group of pre-schoolers. "I made boom-boom," said one of the children, to which Signore responded "So did I...so did I..."
Prediction (Semi-Final): REO Speedwagon 86, Lou Reed 72
In the other Semi-final, Lucinda takes on a very feisty Old Crow. "Like a fine wine, The Old Crow just knocks you on your back," Ewing told the farm-hands who were busily consuming their meals, and who had wandered into the arena under the impression that it was the factory for fine sausages. Meanwhile, Signore went on record to say "Smoked Hickory...Old Crow...Lucinda...such are the things that dreams are made of...It's led...uh...lead...oh, damn, where's the script..."
Predicion (Semi-Final): Lucinda 72, Old Crow 68
Prediction (Final): REO Speedwagon 81, Lucinda 74 ================
Ukraine
If you're looking for a battlefield, just cry me a river. You've got Deke Dickerson fighting The Cramps...and also playing "The Cramps." In the other semi-final, the Devo will take on a upstart Shelby Lynn. While Signore remained relatively quiet about incursions made into the Ukraine, Ewing keeps maintaining that "We need breathing room." In the first semi-final, it shouldn't be a surprise to see the Deke Dickerson dropping from the SWI. "It's hard, when you've got The Cramps," Ewing told a family sitting on a porch outside their Oklahoma tool shed. "Wherever there's a pang...The Cramps'll be there. Wherever a team runs too hard, The Cramps'll be there. A cure for The Cramps? Time...time, and several small unmarked bills," Ewing told the Okie-Tribune.
Prediction (Semi-Final): The Cramps 68, Deke Dickerson 59
In the other Semi-final, The Devo will be looking to honor falled comrade Bob2, and demolish Shelby Lynn (designated upstart). The Devo looks like a team on a mission. A mission of what, that's still to be determined.
Prediction (Semi-Final): The Devo 70, Shelby Lynn 65
Prediction (Final): The Cramps 70, The Devo 67 ================
Final Four Prediction: George Harrison Wilco REO Speedwagon The Cramps
Recap:
Frank: 1-George Harrison, 1-Wilco, 4-REO, 4-The Cramps
Mark: 1-George Harrison, 1-Wilco, 1-Lou Reed, 4-The Cramps
Tony: 11-The Pixies, 4-Norah Jones, 4-REO, 4-The Cramps
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