Art of the grift. Seemingly impossible at first blush, but clarity comes from astute observation and cunning. “Excuse me, do you know where Bay City is located?” asks the eager patron who appears to want some information on the origins of a brewing company, fittingly named The Bay City Brewing Company. As the dim-witted beer monkey begins to hold up her hand to replicate a map of Michigan, the patron’s confederate slips away with the prize in hand. This time a very pleasant tasting lager called Hell’s Half Mile. Light and smooth the free sample is rated high among the griftors, but the essence of the beer is exceeded by the excitement of the secret play. True grift at it’s best.
Griftor’s, like heroin addicts, are never satisfied with a good scam. The sudden rush of smack pulsing through your veins and the surge of power as the free micro-brew hits your tongue have to be kindred spirits. The need to grift is life itself.
Out-maneuvering a plump beer jockey has many forms but is essentially the same, get it free, savor the taste, and move on. Don’t make eye contact with anyone, ever. And, you never know when and where a new grift will take shape. The walk away, as the name implies is as old as dirt, but still a risky business. This tried and true method is responsible for several mouthwatering ales. Odd Side Brewing’s Peanut Butter Cup stout was a pleasant surprise, but enhanced by theft. A hint of chocolate with a whisper of peanut butter was expected, but the smooth taste was not. The trick was when a back-to-back walk away was performed within minutes of each other. The second, an ale from Lagunitas Brewing, was named Brown Sugar Strong Ale, but did not live up to it’s promise of sweet sugar. Although a nice beer, why call something brown sugar and then go easy on the aforementioned ingredients.
But I began by talking about new grifts, and must return. The walk away, and the distraction are solid methods, but just when you’ve seen it all, a new grift is created right in front of your eyes. The play-action is genius, and clever. “Ticket? Ok, let me put it in the bucket for you.” Did he drop it in or did he pull one out? Who can say? Not the flunky behind the shaky wooden table. Again, genius.
In summation, the taking of one man’s beer may be criminal in some states, and altogether egregious in a dorm room setting, but it is a must at over-priced beer sampling events, run by corporate goons. Be quick, be careful, and most of all be confident. Nerves of a fox, will get you the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, my friend. Hesitate, and it will cost you a purplish colored ticket. And you don’t want that.
Postscript
This article on grifting was written after a night at the 2011 Brew Haha! in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Beers were rated and here are the results:
1st beer (grifted - distraction) - Peanut Butter Cup by Odd Side Brewery 7.5 no remarks
2nd beer (grifted - walkaway) - Brown Sugar Strong Ale by Lagunitas Brewing 7.0 “not as sweet as it sounds”
3rd beer (failed grift - beer moneky was ungriftable as rated by all who attempted)) - Ellie’s Brown Ale by Avery Brewing 7.5 no remark
4th beer (distracted walkaway) - Nitro Milk Stout by Left Hand Brewing 9.0 “heavy and tasty”
5th beer (failed grift - tried using Irish accent to distract) - McSorley’s Black Lager by McSorley’s 8.0 no remark
6th beer (failed grift - only had one ticket but beer cost was two tickets, beer monkey only poured me half of a sample for one ticket) Chocolate Stout by Rogue Brewery 8.0 no remark
7th beer (grift - pity beer as I had no tickets left and beer monkey gave me a free-bee) Hell’s Half Mile Lager by Tri City Brewing) 8.0 light and tasty, smooth.
Notes on the night: One beer I didn’t taste and wish I could go back was Good Humans Imperial Brown Ale by Shorts Brewing. This smelled great! Abe bought it and rated it high. Also we all seemed to enjoy everything that came from Rogue Brewery. So in the end my top beer of the night was Nitro Milk Stout. Really good. The price of this event has gone up each year as the number of sample tickets goes down. This year it was $22 and you got three tickets. Plus $5 to park. Another nickle to be drained.
Griftor’s, like heroin addicts, are never satisfied with a good scam. The sudden rush of smack pulsing through your veins and the surge of power as the free micro-brew hits your tongue have to be kindred spirits. The need to grift is life itself.
Out-maneuvering a plump beer jockey has many forms but is essentially the same, get it free, savor the taste, and move on. Don’t make eye contact with anyone, ever. And, you never know when and where a new grift will take shape. The walk away, as the name implies is as old as dirt, but still a risky business. This tried and true method is responsible for several mouthwatering ales. Odd Side Brewing’s Peanut Butter Cup stout was a pleasant surprise, but enhanced by theft. A hint of chocolate with a whisper of peanut butter was expected, but the smooth taste was not. The trick was when a back-to-back walk away was performed within minutes of each other. The second, an ale from Lagunitas Brewing, was named Brown Sugar Strong Ale, but did not live up to it’s promise of sweet sugar. Although a nice beer, why call something brown sugar and then go easy on the aforementioned ingredients.
But I began by talking about new grifts, and must return. The walk away, and the distraction are solid methods, but just when you’ve seen it all, a new grift is created right in front of your eyes. The play-action is genius, and clever. “Ticket? Ok, let me put it in the bucket for you.” Did he drop it in or did he pull one out? Who can say? Not the flunky behind the shaky wooden table. Again, genius.
In summation, the taking of one man’s beer may be criminal in some states, and altogether egregious in a dorm room setting, but it is a must at over-priced beer sampling events, run by corporate goons. Be quick, be careful, and most of all be confident. Nerves of a fox, will get you the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, my friend. Hesitate, and it will cost you a purplish colored ticket. And you don’t want that.
Postscript
This article on grifting was written after a night at the 2011 Brew Haha! in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Beers were rated and here are the results:
1st beer (grifted - distraction) - Peanut Butter Cup by Odd Side Brewery 7.5 no remarks
2nd beer (grifted - walkaway) - Brown Sugar Strong Ale by Lagunitas Brewing 7.0 “not as sweet as it sounds”
3rd beer (failed grift - beer moneky was ungriftable as rated by all who attempted)) - Ellie’s Brown Ale by Avery Brewing 7.5 no remark
4th beer (distracted walkaway) - Nitro Milk Stout by Left Hand Brewing 9.0 “heavy and tasty”
5th beer (failed grift - tried using Irish accent to distract) - McSorley’s Black Lager by McSorley’s 8.0 no remark
6th beer (failed grift - only had one ticket but beer cost was two tickets, beer monkey only poured me half of a sample for one ticket) Chocolate Stout by Rogue Brewery 8.0 no remark
7th beer (grift - pity beer as I had no tickets left and beer monkey gave me a free-bee) Hell’s Half Mile Lager by Tri City Brewing) 8.0 light and tasty, smooth.
Notes on the night: One beer I didn’t taste and wish I could go back was Good Humans Imperial Brown Ale by Shorts Brewing. This smelled great! Abe bought it and rated it high. Also we all seemed to enjoy everything that came from Rogue Brewery. So in the end my top beer of the night was Nitro Milk Stout. Really good. The price of this event has gone up each year as the number of sample tickets goes down. This year it was $22 and you got three tickets. Plus $5 to park. Another nickle to be drained.
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